Want a Better Marriage? Be a Better Spouse.

I know that I have neglected my blog lately, but we are in the process of leaving the mission field and moving back to the States. Hopefully, I can get back to updating the blog soon.

For now, I’ll share an article that I wrote for www.startmarriageright.com.

If you don’t feel that your relationship is as great as you would like it to be, then here are a few suggestions that may help. However, this is not a list for “fixing” your spouse or tips on how to make your husband/wife a better mate. No, this list is all about “you”, because the first step to a better marriage relationship is to first be a better spouse. Read more at http://www.startmarriageright.com/2013/02/want-a-better-marriage-be-a-better-spouse/#.


I have launched a new ministry blog for the purpose of ministering to women. The posts will be submitted by various authors….. Christian women with a desire to share their thoughts, their testimonies, their experiences, their hurts,… and their hearts, in order to encourage other women. We need women who would like to join us and become a contributing author. Read more about this ministry on our new blog, “Healing for Women’s Hearts“.

Healing for Women's Hearts

iStock_000012584007XSmallWelcome to our new blog created by Christian women to minister to all women.

The purpose of this blog is to minister to women of all ages, all races, all cultures, and all backgrounds. We may have many differences, we may look different, live differently, come from backgrounds that are very different, but we have one thing in common; God created us all “female”… we are women and we are affected differently than men by the things of life.

Many of us have a heart that is easily broken, but because we have others who depend on us, we often keep that broken-heart hidden. We don’t have time to nurture our own heart… we are too busy caring for others. This blog is meant to be a place for women to share their brokenness and receive encouragement from others.

It works two ways, first,  we can contribute to this…

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Today I was listening to a song, “While I’m Waiting”, by John Waller. It’s a favorite of my husbands and right now it has a lot of meaning for us as we prepare to leave the mission field. We continue to wait on the Lord for what He has planned for us next. Visit our website and read today’s blog post, “Waiting“.

I also ran across another song by John Waller today that I really like, called “As for Me and My House”. I don’t need to say much about the message of this song…. just listen to it and watch the video.. the message is clear.

As Christians we say that we have made the choice to serve the Lord, but so many times we allow other things to get in the way. Things in life become idols because we allow these things to consume us, we allow them to take our focus off Christ, we allow these things to steal our precious time… time that we should be spending honoring God and loving our families. Anything can become an idol, so it’s important that we truly do choose this day whom we will serve… “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15

Damaged by divorce: Restored by grace


Christian marriages are not immune from divorce. It happens much too often. Marriage is an institution established and ordained by God. The marriage union between man and woman mirrors the relationship between Christ and His bride, which is the Church. (Ephesians 5)

My husband and I have both been through divorce in the past, but by the grace of God we were forgiven for the mistakes we made in past relationships. God brought us together and He has have given us an opportunity to serve Him as missionaries. We also try to use our past experiences to minister to others with similar experiences.

Read more about this in the article, “Damaged by Divorce & Restored by Grace“. I wrote this article for startmarriageright.com.

My Life Verse(s)

Do you have a life-verse? I mean is there a Bible scripture that stands out from all others for you. Many people can quote specific scripture and will say,” this is my life-verse”. It’s a passage of scripture that has guided their life in some way and usually it’s a passage that they return to over and over.

Like many others, I had a few scripture passages that I might have called my favorites when I was young, but it wasn’t until I was 40 years old that I reached a point in life where God used a passage of scripture to speak to me and change my life. I accepted Christ at the age of 12, but I didn’t understand what it meant to have a close personal relationship with Him. Although I knew the Lord, I still tried to live life in “my” way and when “my” plans failed and I was exhausted and tired of trying to do things on my own, I cried out to God and finally surrendered all to Him. It was at this time in my life that God spoke to me three times through the same verse.


Jeremiah 29:11 became my life-verse. For the first time in my life, I truly understood that God did have a plan for me and that He was only waiting for me to give up “my” will, “my” plans and allow Him to direct my paths.

I’ve learned that Jeremiah 29:11 is a favorite for many people and it is quoted often. This verse will always be a reminder to me that it’s not my plans or my will, but God’s plans and His will for my life that are important.

A few years later at a time when I was seeking the Lord and desiring to grow closer in my walk with Him, He led me back to Jeremiah 29. This time God spoke to me through Jeremiah 29:13.


Many times God reminds me that if I will seek Him with my whole heart, I will find Him. At times when it seems that God is far off, I have to do a heart check and see if I’m truly seeking Him with all my heart, or is my heart divided between God and my own desires. I love this verse because it reminds me that God wants all of me and He is never far off when my heart is set on Him.

Recently, God has shown me a new life-verse. I’m not even sure of all that God wants me to learn from this scripture yet, but He has brought me to this verse many times over the past several months and I even used it as the tagline for this blog. It’s Micah 6:8.


Over the past year, I’ve had a lot of questions about God’s plans for the future because a chapter in our life is closing. God is leading us to leave the mission field and return to the United States. What does the Lord require of [me]? God requires that I act justly — that I treat others fairly. God requires that I love mercy — which means that I extend mercy to others, just as God has been merciful to me. God requires that I walk [live] in a humble manner as I walk with Him. As I said, I’m not sure what all God really wants me to learn from Micah 6:8, but for this stage of my life, this is my life-verse and the simple instructions from God’s Word that I am trying to follow.

What’s your life-verse?

His Little Girl

I love the song; You’re My Little Girl by the band, Go Fish. Jason, one of the band members wrote this song for his wife. While they were still dating, she told him about her parent’s divorce and how much that had hurt her. Jason wanted her to know that no matter what she was going through or how others may hurt her, God is always there and He loves and protects her because she is His child — His little girl.

The first time I heard this song, I didn’t know the history behind it but it ministered to me for the same reason that he wrote the song. My parents divorced when I was sixteen. The pain and confusion over that event affected me for many years. Life changed dramatically at the moment that they announced their plans to divorce. My world seemed to turn upside down and for many years it just seemed to spiral out of control and way off course. I don’t blame my parent’s divorce for my world being out of control for so many years. The divorce was not my choice and it did change the course of  life… at least as I had thought it would be, but it was my own bad choices after that point that caused me pain.

I love the message of this song because it reminds me that I am a child of God. I’m His little girl, so no matter what this life hits me with, I can run to Him because that’s what little girls do when they are hurt, or scared, or confused, or sad. Daddy is always there to pick them up and wipe away their tears and daddy can protect his little girl from anything.

Throughout my life, I tried to use relationships to fill a void. In the end, these relationships caused more pain because of emotional and even some physical abuse. During these difficult years in my life, I didn’t fully understand that I had a heavenly Father waiting with open arms to comfort and protect His little girl. By the time I did run to Him, I was a frightened, emotionally damaged little girl who had lost what little self-worth I ever had. It has taken me years to learn that God sees me as His child, His little girl… the apple of His eye.

“For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you—for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye—”  Zachariah 2:8

Do you understand the message of this scripture? God is saying, “anyone who dares to touch my little girl is hurting my most precious possession”. Even an earthly dad would not allow someone to hurt their little girl, so how great is it to know that we are a child of God.

Have you been hurt by someone else? Perhaps someone you love has abandoned you in some way. Perhaps you felt the fear and pain of abuse. Maybe your spouse has betrayed you in some way. Maybe you are like me and your lack of self-worth prevents you from understanding that God sees you as the beautiful child that you truly are. If your self-worth depends on the approval of others such as your parents, your friends, or your spouse… you will only find disappointment. Only God can heal the hurt that someone else has caused and only He can love you the way that you need to be loved. He will protect you and never abandon you… because You’re His Little Girl.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

Have you Kissed a lot of Frogs but Still no Prince?

frog.princeI don’t know how many frogs the fairy tale princess kissed before she found her prince, but I have to admit that I kissed a lot of frogs before finding my prince.

We want to believe in the fairytale.

Most of us want to believe that our “prince” is out there somewhere among all the frogs that we encounter. We want to believe that “soul-mates” do exist because we don’t want to choose the wrong mate and end up as part of the 50% of married couples who eventually divorce.  READ MORE

Above is an except from an article I wrote for startmarriageright.com.

Are you still looking for your prince or princess? You might enjoy this article and reading about what God says about choosing a mate.