Dear Hot Flash: a Dear John letter


Dear Hot Flash:

The time has come for us to part ways. I wanted to let you down easy but it’s best that I just get to the point. I’m struggling to find words to make this easier for you. I want to say something good, but it’s difficult to find anything positive about this relationship. Honestly, I just want out. I wish we had never met. This relationship has just become too painful for me.

I remember listening to other women speak of you. They talked about their involvement with you and how you affected them in such intense ways. They described your flashy personality and your spontaneity. They told stories about all the sleep they lost because you liked to visit them at night. So many women described how HOT you were. Back then I thought that all the talk about this mysterious Hot Flash was just an exaggeration. I laughed at all the stories, just as many others do…. Then, you walked into my life. How old was I… 45, 46? I’m not sure. At first I didn’t even recognize you. You would show up for brief moments and then disappear for long periods of time. Oh, of course I noticed you; because there is no doubt… you’re HOT!

As the years have passed, you have started coming around more often and staying much longer. I’m 50 years old now, so this has gone on long enough. This relationship has just become way too intense. You have become much too intrusive. You demand too much time with me. You’re smothering me and it’s causing me to feel sick. I break out in a sweat and I get headaches. I’m losing too much sleep because of you. I’m sorry, but this is not a healthy relationship. It’s time for you to move on.

I wish I could say “it’s been fun”, but I can’t seem to recall any fond memories. Let’s just say good-bye and depart as… well, I’d be lying if I said, “friends”… so, let’s just go our separate ways. Please do not call or write and DO NOT visit me again. Good-bye Hot Flash.