I know that I have neglected my blog lately, but we are in the process of leaving the mission field and moving back to the States. Hopefully, I can get back to updating the blog soon.
For now, I’ll share an article that I wrote for www.startmarriageright.com.
If you don’t feel that your relationship is as great as you would like it to be, then here are a few suggestions that may help. However, this is not a list for “fixing” your spouse or tips on how to make your husband/wife a better mate. No, this list is all about “you”, because the first step to a better marriage relationship is to first be a better spouse. Read more at http://www.startmarriageright.com/2013/02/want-a-better-marriage-be-a-better-spouse/#.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
Everyone wants the respect of others, especially from the people who matter most to us. God created men to take a leadership role in marriage. Leaders need and deserve respect, so men naturally need to feel that they have the respect of their wives.
It’s not always easy to know how to communicate respect or to even realize when our actions are not communicating it. I listed a few ways to show your husband that you love and respect him.
- Pray for him and make a habit of praying with him.
- Men want you to need them, so find ways to show that you need him.
- Thank him when he does things around the house.
- If you must confront him, choose your words carefully, remember to “speak the truth in love” and let the small stuff go.
- Focus on all the things he does well and try to minimize the negative.
- If you feel offended, extend God’s grace to him and have an attitude of forgiveness.
- Don’t disagree with him or correct him in front of others.
- Be his biggest fan, cheer his successes and always tell him you are proud of him.
- Defend him if anyone speaks in negative ways about him.
- Take an interest in things that he is interested in.
- Men sometimes just need time alone so allow him this time.
- He wants to do well and desires to make you proud so respect his efforts, instead of measuring his performance.
- Don’t set him up to fail by asking him to do projects beyond his capabilities.
- Initiate sex sometimes rather than waiting for him to do so.
- Discover his preferred Love Language.
Once you understand which love language he uses to communicate, it will be easier to find more specific ways to show him respect.
If His Love Language is:
Words of Affirmation
- Compliment him
- Express your appreciation for all he does and who he is
- Brag about him to others. Do this when he is present and when he is not.
- Make dates with him
- Do things with him (watch his favorite TV programs, participate in a hobby)
- Make time to be intimate
Acts of Service
- Do little things for him (bring his morning coffee, give him a massage or a foot rub)
- Buy him gifts for no reason or make his favorite dinner
- Be his help-mate; assist him with a project
- Hold his hand
- Take time to snuggle
- Kiss him often
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
You can discover your Love Language here.